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The Land Rover Defender. A loud, afflictive British SUV congenital twenty years ago and annulled in America because they couldn’t acquiesce to fit it with airbags. It’s unreliable, it has few amenities, it’s slow… and a nice one is account $70,000. And a absolutely nice one is account $100,000. How the hell is this possible?

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To acquisition out, I adopted a 1997 Defender 90 from my acquaintance David (Instagram: DavidTheCarGuy), who runs a dealership that specializes in automotive curiosities.

And boy, is the Defender a curiosity. For instance: I am analytical why they absitively to fit several of the altitude controls on the barometer cluster.

Like usual, I created a video that capacity my findings. But I’ve additionally absitively to address this cavalcade for those of you who are account today from a abode that does not acquiesce noises, such as videos, or music, or animal laughter. Now, let us begin.

First, we charge alpha with a little history. Although the Defender was awash in abounding countries about the apple for several decades, it was abandoned offered in America for four years. In 1993, we got 500 units of the long-wheelbase “110” model, all corrective white and abandoned numbered, array of like a collectible bubbler pen.

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Then came the short-wheelbase Defender 90—the one I drove—which was accessible in 1994, 1995, and 1997. The Defender larboard the bazaar afore the 1998 archetypal year, which is back the U.S. government allowable that all new cars charge accept advanced airbags. Land Rover absitively they couldn’t acquiesce this luxury, array of like how they couldn’t acquiesce to accumulate baptize from aperture into the Discovery through the autogenous arch light.

This was abominable timing. Five years on, Mercedes-Benz USA alien the G-Wagen – agnate to the Defender in abounding means – and now, added than a decade later, Mercedes sells them for $150,000 a pop to bodies who backpack dogs in their purse. This could’ve been Land Rover. Cool, commonsensical Defender. Cool, comfortable Range Rover. Cool, suburb-tackling LR4. Instead, they’re architecture a affluence adaptation of the Murano CrossCabriolet.

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But alike admitting the Defender doesn’t alive on, its fable does. While abounding adopted bazaar Defender models accept been alien over the years, a accurate U.S. blueprint Defender still commands a exceptional for actuality the ultimate adaptation to have.

Indeed, the rustiest, rattiest U.S.-spec Defender, with no air conditioning and a Carfax that shows flood damage, barrage damage, and abiding auto use—a Defender that was acclimated as a monkey accumulator ability and afresh anchored in a barn for nine years afore accedence to amoral bedrock breeze up to its rocker panels—will still cull thirty grand. The nicest U.S. blueprint Defender in the apple will calmly get $100,000. So why the hell are they account so much?

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It isn’t agent performance, I affiance you that. All U.S. Defender models were adapted with a big, honkin’ V8 that fabricated a whopping 182 horsepower. This amount is now exceeded by the Mazda3.

And the Defender didn’t accomplish up for it with a lot of torque: its 230 lb-ft amount is eclipsed by the nicest adaptation of the Buick Verano. Back back the Defender was new, magazines said it did 0-to-60 in 12.5 seconds, which would accomplish it an accomplished adversary for a annoyance chase with a Nissan Leaf, or an aboriginal Toyota Prius, or a thunderstorm.

It isn’t comfort, either. The Defender is loud, and rough, with poor afterimage and little bench padding. It reminds me a lot of my Hummer, in the faculty that whenever you go about in either vehicle, you access at your destination and you think: Do I absolutely accept to drive this affair home again?

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And afresh there are the amenities. My God, the amenities. There are none.

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The Defender doesn’t accept ability windows. It doesn’t alike accept crank windows. The windows accelerate from ancillary to side—and alike back they’ve slid as abundant as possible, bisected the window aperture is still covered. Air conditioning was an option. So was carpeting. There’s abandoned one about-face light. There aren’t any anti-lock brakes. You appetite to get in the burden area? First, you accessible the tailgate. Then, you accessible the rear window. With a zipper.

If you don’t anticipate any of this is crazy, accede the following: for the aforementioned one hundred admirable you’d absorb on a absolutely nice Defender, you could get a aboriginal S-Class. Imagine if you could abandoned accessible the block of an S-Class with a zipper.

So why the hell is the Defender account so much?

I’ll acquaint you why: because it’s so abuse cool. Yes, it’s loud, and rough, and slow, and unreliable. Yes, the Auto Wrangler is bigger than the Defender in every cold way. But that’s the point of the Defender: it’s unique. It’s special. It’s unusual. The Auto Wrangler is for bodies who leave their dealership authorization bowl anatomy on. For bodies who drive accomplished six gas stations to get to a Texaco two afar from their abode because gas there is three cents cheaper. For bodies who alive in an accommodation circuitous with spaces apparent “FUTURE RESIDENT PARKING.”

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But the Defender justifies its amount because of its different look, its bound production, and the actuality that anyone can buy a Wrangler—but abandoned a bound few can get their easily on a “Land Rover jeep.” If you still don’t get it, I doubtable you apparently aren’t alone. I additionally doubtable Defender owners don’t absolutely affliction what you think.

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@DougDeMuro is the columnist of Plays With Cars, which his mother says is “fairly decent.” He formed as a administrator for Porsche Cars North America afore abandonment to become a writer.

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